I didn't mean to go this long without posting, but it has been pretty busy around our house lately...not that "that" reason alone is a good one, but it's all I got. There has been several happenings since I last posted, or that I haven't covered yet...so this is the condensed version.
Last month, Jacob turned 10...double digits! He requested his favorite dessert - Momma's Ore@ cake. You know your kids are getting older when they don't ask for the character bakery cakes anymore. I started making this dessert after we had an adoption celebration meal during Anna's adoption journey at Ruby Tuesd*ys. We ordered one of their chocolate cake desserts that is served in a huge glass footed bowl that looks like an enormous wine glass. I made my own version and my kids love it. It is basically a trifle of crushed Ore@ cookies, crumbled brownies, chocolate pudding and whipped cream. Layer after layer of insane goodness ;-)
Happy 10th Jacob!
We finally, after how long of waiting??, began the house. Footers were dug, poured, foundation laid and the framing is nearly complete. They finished the 2nd floor ceiling and started the rafters. Hopefully the weather will cooperate the remainder of the week and next and they will be finished. The kids are super pumped about having some personal space again.
Rodney beginning to dig that first scoop of dirt!!
Not very pretty, but still exciting!
Anna had another visit with the cleft team in Louisville. Her hearing has improved since the tubes were inserted. For the first time, the audiogram did what it should have done! The surgeon was very pleased with the palate all still being intact. Her speech therapy is lacking however. There is some issues with the school and we are going to have to do something else. She isn't getting enough and her speech is not improving. She made quite a bit of improvement after the last surgery (or at least we could tell there were new sounds) but it seems as though she has plateaued again. Although I try to get her to say things and enunciate the words, I am just not a speech therapist. Her doctor actually said that she need very intensive therapy...like inpatient therapy! He was really using inpatient therapy as an example that she could benefit from, but he was sort of serious.
Regardless of how much you realize that you child isn't doing what they should be doing...it is really hard to hear someone else say it. I know that Anna's "special" need isn't a huge burden to bear compared to what some other children and families have to deal with, but to hear people talk about your child in that light, it breaks your heart. I was nearly brought to tears a couple of times because I can't fix it. I have tried to help her with her language, introduced some sign to her, but I can't make those words come out of her mouth. Because of that, she is labeled as developmentally delayed and that just hurts.
It isn't that I think she is "less than" or am embarrassed by the fact....I want Anna to be able to do what Anna can do. I want her accomplishments to be praised and noted, regardless if they are "below" the standard for her age. I just want Anna to do the best that she can do...whatever that is. I just feel that if her language was there, I think that there is a lot in that cute little head of hers that just can't come out yet. I see her brilliance, her imagination, her thoughtfulness, her problem solving, her humor, her excitement, her anticipation, her fears, her desires. Sometimes others can't see it because all they see is a 3 year old little girl that grunts and yells and screams and cries and jabbers sounds that sound like nothing at all. They don't see the Anna that I see.
My smart girl...rotten to the core, but smart
Many times it is hard, especially in public, when this 28 lb little girl is screaming, people want to give in to her. They overlook some of her behaviors because #1 she looks younger than she really is, #2 she is obviously adopted and #3 she is a girl. If I try to discipline her, you should see the looks that I get. It would be much easier to get on to her if she were yelling, "NO Momma!! I want that toy, candy, book, everything that we pass!!!!" Because of the lack of language she almost gets a free pass to behave however she wants around other people. I know the wheels in her mind are turning and she knows...she may not can express it, but she knows. Anna is one smart cookie...she just hasn't been able to tell us how smart she is ;-)
Singing "Happy Birthday" on her Karaoke machine
We are still waiting for our LOA for Elli. Tomorrow marks the 100th day of our LOA wait - YUCK! I expect it any day, but try to not expect it. You have to try to find this balance between totally obsessing and trying to put it in the back of your mind. Of course if you are successful at putting it at the back of your mind for longer than a few hours, you feel incredibly guilty that you didn't think about it. Some people say, "you can't think about it all the time or it will drive you crazy." But the reality is, Elli is real. She is in a real orphanage, without a real family. She doesn't just come to be when we get exciting news about her or the process and then go back into hibernation until something new happens again. She isn't going to appear on the day we get her...she is real now. Half way around the world she is. She may be crying, laughing, eating, sleeping, lonely, happy, sad, afraid, playing...she is doing something - without us. I have to think of her all the time - she deserves my thoughts because that is all I can give her right now. It is a crazy process and although you try to balance it all - there is no balance....you just try to manage.
Sometimes when days are long and hard, you get a little break from the monotony of it all. One particular day, I found my camera in an unusual spot because I thought it was in my bag. I picked it up, turned it on and I had about 15 pictures of super heroes posed on the kitchen table. We had close ups of Spider-m*n, battle scenes with Ven*m...it was just enough to make me laugh. Ordinarily Carter would have gotten into trouble for getting out the camera, but that day I was glad he did. We had several laughs as we looked through all the pictures he had taken, not only of his action figures, but also of himself from earlier that afternoon...which is apparently when he got the camera in the first place.
Obviously the kitchen table wasn't cleaned yet...oops!
I had to do a double take - it doesn't even look like Carter
This last picture I questioned whether I should put on the blog or not. Not that it is bad, but it is bad. You all know that I think Anna is just beautiful...BUT, she can never, ever, ever be blond!
Blonds may have more fun...but Black is much more flattering for our Anna!
Anna loves to dress up and wear wigs. Carter wore a wig for Halloween and Anna loved it. My sister found this horrible get up and gave it to her for part of her Christmas....hilarious! We finally had to throw the wig away because there was long hairs everywhere.
We just celebrated Rodney's 41st birthday. He is getting so old! We ate lunch at his favorite restaurant and his mom brought him his favorite cake...banana, and he gets to eat it all by himself because no one else likes it!
I hope the next month is full of positive events, one being our LOA and maybe even our TA. We also have a nephew due to arrive at the end of March and our 13th anniversary is on March 16th. Yep, sounds like we may have another busy month!
Sending love & hugs to our Elli,
Rodney, Marcy, Carter, Jacob, Parker & Anna Mei
