Merry Christmas...

It is so hard to believe that Christmas is really here! The tree is up, presents wrapped and Santa has been seen. The kids are pumped and we are already exhausted...'tis the season!

Standing in line at the mall, waiting to see Santa, you can't help be feel the excitement in the little ones as they try to peek through the crowd to get a glimpse of the man in red. Anna would point and say, "ho, ho! ho, ho!" Parker started getting quiet and a little nervous knowing he was about to meet the one who "knows if you been bad or good." Carter is totally in his own world as he is reciting lines from "Elf" saying he was going to tell Santa he smelled like beef and cheese!!! And Jacob, poor Jacob...he was terrified that someone was going to see him in line to see Santa! I don't know how many more years I will be able to drag them to sit on Santa's lap with their little siblings...boo hoo...where did my babies go?!?

When it was finally our turn to see Santa himself, Anna ran right up to him and got in his lap. She immediately started playing with his beard and again, "ho, ho! ho, ho!" Parker is hiding behind my legs, refusing to sit on the "Ol' Man's" knee. When "he" heard me tell Parker to go sit on his lap, Santa said, "come here Parker and stand beside me." Parker went over and ended up on Carter's lap. They all recited their wish lists....Transformers....and we went on our way.

Later that night at home, Parker was playing on the computer, he turned around, very serious and asked, "How did Santa know my name?" His sweet face was in wonder and you could tell in his eyes his little mind was running a hundred miles and hour. I bet he had been thinking about Santa saying his name all night. I could have just ate him up! He is too sweet.

Those are the little moments that I want to remember as I get older. The innocent fascination, excitement and wonder of Christmas. The funny memories of Carter and Jacob shouldn't be forgot either. I remember having to sit on Santa's knee with my little brother when I really didn't want to, so it makes Jacob's reaction a little bit funnier to me I guess. Of course, Carter wanting to play "Buddy" is just funny period. I know I am partial, but seriously, are my kids not the best?!?

As we have fun and begin the traditional Christmas gatherings, there is a sense of someone is missing. The holidays seem harder. As Anna ran up to Santa, I could just imagine Anna holding Elli's hand and them running together. She is already a part of us and we just wish she were here. But for whatever reason, she isn't and although very difficult at times, I must enjoy my children this year that I do have with me. There are times that I feel a bit guilty enjoying myself, but I guess that is the internal pull between two places...here and China.

Sending love & hugs to our Elli,

Rodney, Marcy, Carter, Jacob, Parker & Anna Mei